As I was walking this morning, I felt the Lord talking to me. The verse came to me, "Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you" in the book of James. What He showed me was that there are people who feel that God is far off, distant and unapproachable. They are trying to connect but unable to.
This is what the Lord showed me. When we were very small, our parents would play hide and seek with us. The younger we were, the easier they made it for us. I would call it, "hiding in plain sight". How cruel would it be if our parents hid from us and never revealed where they were? This is the same way with our God. He says, "if you seek me, you will find me". In other words, "I am just waiting for you to begin the seeking".
I can hear you say, "But, I can't find Him!". Let me tell you, that is a lie from the enemy. You know, if you believe a lie long enough, it becomes true for you, but it is not truth. Truth trumps what is true. The enemy of our souls would like us to believe that God is distant and impersonal. Nothing could be further from the truth! I can testify that He is closer to me than any person on this earth. I think a lot of our problem is we can connect with Jesus, but not God. We are blind to the truth that Jesus is God in the flesh. If you can see Jesus, You can see God! If you can connect with Jesus, you are connected with God.
I want to tell you something exciting. He found you first! If you have a desire to seek God, that came from God! We can't even desire Him without the Holy Spirit putting that desire there. You think you are the seeker, when, really, He is seeking you out. Kind of upside down, huh?
I have walked with the Lord for many years and, for the majority of those years, I felt disconnected from God. I had a stronghold, keeping me from relating to Him as my Father. I grew up with a Dad who was a stern disciplinarian and very strict. I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around him most of the time. I felt like I let him down a lot. Consequently, I related the same was with my Heavenly Father. I spent most of my Christian walk trying to win God's approval. Even when I did everything right, I still felt something missing. I was constantly seeking for something to make me closer to God. I would go from Bible Study to Bible Study, thinking I could find the missing piece. Finally, I wore myself out, to the point of suffering anxiety and stress. One night a dear friend prayed over me. As she prayed, God opened her spiritual eyes to see the stronghold over my mind. She saw a dark chasm in my mind. She began to pray for me, tearing down strongholds. As she prayed she saw the chasm begin to disappear. While she was praying, I had a vision. I saw myself as a little girl, standing on one side of a river. I could see Jesus standing on the other side. I wanted to get to Him. A bridge started to form over the river (this was at the same time my friend was interceding and seeing my mind becoming healed). The little girl, Cathi, ran across the bridge. Jesus stooped down and scooped me up and started spinning me around, my legs flying in the air, laughing. He put me down and stooped down again, his face close to mine, and said, "Cathi, don't you know that I am God?". The vision was gone, and I was left sitting in the floor, crying like a little baby. I cried for at least an hour straight as my Father's love washed over me. My friend sat with me, holding me, her tears, flowing also. From that day, the stronghold and disconnect was broken. I was able to relate to my Daddy, God.
Before I go any further, I want to tell you that in no way am I blaming my earthly father. He came from a very dysfunctional family and had to raise himself on the streets of Cabbagetown. He did the best he could. As he grew older, he softened. But, he could never forgive himself for being so hard on us. He asked our forgiveness and, of course, we had already forgiven him. He never forgave himself. I wish he could have been free from being so hard on himself. He is free now, praise God!!
I want to encourage you today, to continue your journey of drawing near. Don't give up, because God is hiding in plain sight! He is very near to you. He is a kind Father, just waiting for his little one to come near enough for Him to reveal Himself. Let Him stoop down to you, lift you up and spin you around. Be free as your legs fly in the air. Laugh with Him, cry with Him. Let His love wash over you. Be free today from feelings of disapproval. Those He chooses, he approves!
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