Do you ever feel like a big disappointment to God? Do you ever feel like you just can't measure up? Do you ever feel like you have let God down? I can answer "yes" to all of those questions. For all of my Christian walk I have struggled with feeling of inadequacy as a child of God. I cannot tell you exactly why I feel that way. I think some of it is from growing up in a time of fire and brimstone preaching. I am not saying the way I was raised was bad. I praise God for a Godly upbringing! I praise God for a solid foundation in the Word of God. But, in that time I received a message in my mind that created a stronghold of religion. This stronghold says that I must do something to be accepted. I must be as perfect as I can so that God will be pleased with me. I have been delivered from much of this mindset but the lingering effects still exist.
Lately, everywhere I turn, God is speaking to me about grace. It is as if He is standing in my face, saying, "Cathi, please listen to this. I am not who you think I am. I am not mad or disappointed in you". I hear that voice speaking, yet something in me still struggles to believe.
Over the weekend I attended a Beth Moore conference and all she talked about was grace. She made the point, we have in our minds that we have just enough grace to cover our sin. In other words, If I sin "this much", I have "this much" grace. But, she made the point, "where sin abounds, grace MUCH MORE abounds". There is a lot more grace than our sin! It covers my sin, and then some!
Before you worry that I am going to go off the deep end with the grace message and give myself an excuse to go on a sin rampage, don't trouble yourself. I know what the Word says. Grace is not a permission slip to sin. It is the mercy we receive when we do sin, because we will. I am going to mess up. I am probably going to mess up big time occasionally, but I am learning that my standing with God does not change, based on how much I mess up. His grace extends to every mess up.
Another point that Beth Moore made was that the word "disappoint" is not even in the Word of God. And the word, "disappointment" is only found 4 or 5 times and it is never in the context of God being disappointed in His children. I can truthfully say, I have felt that I was a disappointment to God, because I thought a certain way, or struggled in certain areas. How freeing to find that He has never been disappointed in me. He knew what He was getting and He still chose me. I know this is elementary teaching and all of this I already knew, but I didn't KNOW it. It is becoming revelation to me and setting me free. I have not arrived, believe me.
I told a friend the other day, if I hear a message on anything that is hard and brings condemnation, I am the first to jump on that bandwagon and feel that condemnation to the core. I feel guilty even if it doesn't apply to me. That, dear friends, is what you call a stronghold. But, I am being set free from this!
I know I appear to be Super Saint, and I have been told I'm a rock. The truth is, you don't see or hear the inward battle that goes on inside of me daily. I am exposing that today so, hopefully, it can help someone who is going through the same thing. Mine has been almost a lifelong battle.
How wonderful to know that God loves me, just as I am. I am His and He is mine. Oh, what love. I cannot fathom that kind of love.
Please read what Beth Moore read on Saturday at the conference about grace below:
Grace is an inflated raft that can submerge to the floor of a sea to save you.
Grace is the silver thread that stitches up the shreds of mangled souls.
Grace is the eye that finds us where it refuses, there, to leave us.
Grace calls the waitress to the table and sits her down to wash her feet.
Grace sees underneath the manhole on a street of self-destruction.
Grace is the air to draw a breath in the belly of a whale.
Grace is the courage to stand in the shamed wake of a frightful falling.
Grace is the only fire hot enough to burn down a living hell.
Grace waits with healing in His wings when we’re too mad to pray.
Grace is the gravity that pulls us from depravity.
Grace races us to the Throne when we make haste to repent and always outruns us.
Grace treats us like we already are what we fear we’ll never become.
Grace is the doorpost dripping red when the angel of death grips the knob.
Grace is the stamp that says Ransomed on a life that screams Ruined.
Grace sets a table before me in the presence of my enemy even when my enemy is me.
Grace is the cloak that covers the naked and the palm that drops the rock.
Grace is divine power burgeoning in the absence of all strength.
Grace proves God true and every self-made man a liar for the sake of his own soul.
Grace is the power to do what we cannot do for the Name of Christ to go where it has not been.
Grace is a room of a thousand mirrors, all reflecting the face of Christ.
Grace is…
The eye popping
Knee dropping
Earth quaking
Pride breaking
Dark stabbing
Heart grabbing
Friend mending
Mind bending
Lame walking
Mute taking
Slave freeing
Devil fleeing
Death tolling
Stone rolling
Veil tearing
Glory flaring
Chin lifting
Sin sifting
Dirt bleaching
World reaching
Past covering
Spirit hovering
Child defending
Happy ending
Heaven glancing
Feet dancing…
Power of the Cross.
Jesus Christ, Grace Incarnate.
Copyright 2013 Beth Moore
Now, that will preach!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment